An Important Message


[Editor Note: This one falls under the "anything by ukDarkhound gets posted regardless of WOT relevance" category. As you might have figured out, this isn't exactly chock full of WOT content. And yes, I am definitely stretching for content here. *g*]
It's come to my attention that many posts have been missing some important punctuation. Furthermore, some posters are so idle that they fail to include the requisite amount of letters in certain words.

Historically, Americans are particularly at fault here, with their abuse of the word 'color' which does not exist, as opposed to the word 'colour' which is the correct spelling. As you know, your language was invented by us, and that's why it's called 'English'. The queen of England, Elizabeth the 2nd, owns all English words, and she let's you use them free of charge on the proviso that you spell them correctly. Additionally, it's considered especially impolite to spell words correctly but then deliberately mispronounce them, such as you do with 'Herbs' (it's got an H in it dammit) and 'Aluminium'.

Try not to become enchanted with new "hybrid" languages, which spill from the devil's tongue itself. These include "Gangster Speak" (Yo, you Mo Fo, where's my Ho?) and the disgusting Microsoft "American English" option in MsOffice products.

Finally, some of you have sunk to such depths of laziness as to miss out entire words from sentences or abbreviate them with acronyms. I have also addressed this concern with her Majesty, and she said "One is most upset. It's simply not awn." (Awn is a reserved word, for royal use only.)

The trouble with acronyms is that they are exclusive, rather than inclusive. They are practically a cypher, and only those with the correct key may hope to determine the proper meaning behind these cyptic glyphs. They leave the innocent newcomer confounded. For example, LOL may be mistaken for "Lots of Legs" and I have often mistaken "ROFL" for "Robust Organs Frighten Ladies".

To help quell this rising evil, her Majesty has bade me provide you with a full set of punctuation, some spare letters, and a full set of handy phrases with which to prop up your prose. To use it, merely copy and paste the required character(s) to your text.

Thankyou for your co-operation
On behalf of her majesty Queen Elizabeth the 2nd (London)

ukDarkHound

.,/;:"'?!()
AEIOU
K M H C D V R B Z X L N P Qu
0123456789
"Laugh out Loud"
"Rolling on the Floor Laughing"
"Rolling on the floor Laughing my Arse off"
"Grin"
"Smile"
"Gosh, I'm angry at you"
"Bugger off, Rhodric"
"Sorry, no text in here"
"Raise the ol eyebrows"