And so ‘twas an eve in the Wheel of Tyme that had befallen a long, long, season hence, and had moreover transpired in a galaxy in the furthermost periphery...a wind hath risen in the Mountains of Mist. This wind beith not the commencement, nor doth it beith the end, but this gentle bluster was heretofore and forthwith nonetheless heralded as a beginning. Yea, for this wind was quintessentially necessary for subsequent plot development.

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[Thy gallant pilgrims flee from treachery]
[Thy valiant wand’rers run from lechery]
[From Trolloc blades and tainted haze]
[From fatal fog and Myrdraal gaze]
[To reach yon Arinelle’s sweet waves]
[Where Trolloc fear of water saves.]
[Their flight enters a quicker phase]
[For currently the fog dismays]
[Ironically, in these dark days]
[That which they flee now blocks their ways]
[Nothing apt that ends in -aze]
[Seems Pablo lacketh rhyme to fit these staves...]

Moiraine: Yea, I beseech thee, O friends... halt thy mounted procession to thus and so avoid Death’s mark upon thy soul!

[Our questing party ceases parade]
[Forsooth, they thus desist their cavalcade]
[Alas, the halt hath much confusion made]
[In the mind of she, a fair and lovely maid]
Nynaeve: [Sniffeth] [Tuggeth] What evil breathest thither that doth goad our fleeing train to halt? 
Moiraine: This thither evil haze doth beith wholly vile and base as bad a thing could be, but nay, fair Nynaeve, thou spake of breath in thither haze when breath there doth not be. For thither haze doth feel not, think not, nor doth thy yonder foggy mist discern. But if thou touchest but one slightest tendril of yonder foggy mist, Death shall forthwith sweepest thou off thy dainty feet. Be forewarned, fair maiden, for this may be thy spirit's final hour.
Egwene: Canst thou not killeth that which this day threatens?
Moiraine: [Laugheth] This baneful earthly nebula doth beith as vast as lofty sky!
Rand: [This young esquire perched upon]
[His horse sees thither haze hath gone]
[And parted thee from chaperon]
[From thither Lady leading on]
[As well her stony companion.]
[Rand doth note their condition]
[As separate from their beacon]
[And thus produces confusion]
[For he and friends are good as gone]
[Without their guides to lead them on...]
Rand: How shall it then transpire that our reunion thus eventuates?
Moiraine: Dost thou spy yonder crimson astral body pensile in the heavens?
Rand: Aye, thou dost.
Moiraine: Chase that blazing ruby nova to yon river Arinelle! Farewell!
[Upon this declaration hence 
The regal Lady parts our pres’nce.] 
[Thy dazed group goeth forth throughout this city and yon fence.]
[Coming ‘round a corner thou dost feel in imminence...]
[Hiding Trollocs poised in shadows unheard in silence!]
[Thus our ever-fearless heroes groweth somewhat tense,]
[And everybody flee-eth with nay regard for sense.]
[The Trollocs springeth ambush with a lack of elegance]
[(But then again our group’s exit could use some reverence...)]
[Nonetheless our group’s now split to random gals and gents.] 

[Rand doth run and Mat doth too and Thom doth make that three]
[This trio beith one faction of the party forced to flee]
[Perrin waiteth]
[Beside the gateth]
[He hesitateth]
[And meditateth]
[Then he descrieth]
[A noise nearbieth]
[And Egwene spieth]
[Where Perrin lieth]
[And out loud crieth...]
Egwene: Randeo, Randeo, wherefore art thou, Randeo?
Perrin: Alas, fair Egwene, ‘tis not Randeo, but I, Perrin. How now, Egwene, wither wander thou?
Egwene: Thou wand’rest ‘round sans aim and point. We dost beith lost!
Perrin: Nay, Egwene: we dost not beith lost, we doth beith temporarily between places recognizable! [Chuckleth] 
Egwene: Shut thy mouth, O Head of Wool. We dost beith lost.

[In the while that is the mean]
[Three heroes try to run unseen]
[And it is here, upon this scene]
[The same darn place that he has been]
[Stuck for months with no hope seen]
[So Pablo screams something obscene]
[AND STARTS THE TALE AGAIN!!]

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Having recently re-read all current episodes, there’s an obvious and somewhat startling contrast between this latest addition to the Wheel Wars crew, and all the other episodes: This is NOT Wheel Wars! This is...this is...Shakespeare meets Weird Al. I’ve had the previous "poem" written for about 3 or 4 months, and the intent to write an actual Episode 1.8 in my head since the time of my abandonment of the "poem", but it ‘twas not until now that I finally motivated myself to do it. The REAL Episode 1.8 is already posted, and I just thought I’d post this as well...