Staff Meeting
RJ looked at his watch. 7:00 sharp. It seemed like everyone was in attendance, he figured he had better take
rollcall.
RJ: Rand!
Rand: Right here.
RJ: Mat!
Mat: Over here, Robby.
RJ: Perrin! *pause* Perrin!
Perrin: um, here Mr. Jordan.
RJ: Lan
Lan: *mumbles about how he’s here*
RJ: what was that?
Lan: *mumbles a little louder* I’m here
RJ: okay, and where is Nynaeve?
Nynaeve: Do you think Lan would go anywhere without me? *sniff*tug*
RJ: geez, I just asked…Moiraine
Moiraine: I’m here, and I am NOT dead. *mumbles about damn rumors ruining a person’s life*
RJ: *sigh* its gonna be one of those nights…
Author’s Note- okay, this goes on for a while until he realized that everyone’s here blah blah blah…..lets just
skip the rest of it….
RJ: okay, now that everyone is here, we can get the meeting started. Now I recently handed out the scripts for
Winter’s Heart. As you all know, before we have a read-through, I usually open up the floor to comments. This
time I am limiting that comment session to three hours, I learned my lesson after Path of Daggers…Light forbid
a man should ever leave a cliffhanger…okay, the floor is open.
Rand: I think I should have another lover.
Avi, Elayne, and Min: there he goes again…
RJ: Rand, three’s company, four’s a crowd-next person, please.
Moiraine: I think I should come back.
RJ: now Moiraine, I told you that I’m saving that for the 10th book, so it can be the basis of the book, if it were
in the 9th book, it wouldn’t get enough recognition.
Moiraine: *sigh* The Wheel Weaves as Your Will Wills…
RJ: Next?
Egwene: can we win?
RJ: um, Egwene, did you read the script?
Egwene: well, no, actually, I like to save it for the read-through. It’s more exciting that way.
RJ: please let this be over soon…
Nynaeve: I think I should cut off my braid.
RJ: *looks strangely at Nyn* and why so you think that?
Nynaeve: I dunno, shock the readers? It’d be better than a book with Perrin on the cover…
RJ: now Nynaeve, your braid is part of you, it is the essence of Nynaeve!
Nynaeve: I swear on the Light if you make me tug this freaking thing one more time I will quit! I feel like I’m
hiding behind a mask of hair and allergies! All that tugging and sniffing…Why do I have to do those things? I’m
losing the real me, Robert, the real me! *falls sobbing on Lan’s shoulder*
Lan: *strangely quiet voice* you don’t know what this poor woman went through for you. All the split
ends…taking up so much time to wash and dry it…*shakes his head, disappointed* I thought I knew you better,
Rob, I really did.
RJ: *looks straight ahead* what did I do to deserve this?
Mesaana: Can I become a teacher?
RJ: I’m not even going to answer that.
Dark One: Can I have Rand?
RJ: I told you, I’m considering it!
Creator: Can I have Rand?
RJ: What did I just say?
Lews Therin: Can I get out of Rand’s head? I’m really getting a cramp…
RJ: No.
Some Aiel: Can we have another war?
RJ: It’s called the Last Battle, and I think it’s worth the wait.
Any Carhienen Person: can we have a basketball team?
RJ: *sniggers* um, I don’t think so…
Narg the Trolloc: rgak aeif afvdnsao
RJ: I have no idea what the hell you just said.
Mat: Do I have to marry the Daughter of the Nine Moons?
RJ: well I’m seriously considering having you and Birgitte run off together.
Mat: really? *brightens*
RJ: no, I was just joking, you have to marry TDoT9M
Perrin: Can I not be a wolf anymore? I mean, people are starting to think I’m crazy.
RJ: What would you be without it? Perrin Brown-Eyes? I think not…
Dark One: WILL THOU BE NAE’BLIS?
RJ: I hate my job….
Just a little humor to make you appreciate RJ’s job…Hope you enjoyed!
-Nyn