News 3000


In today’s news, the major story is that the Wheel of Time series has finally been completed!

After Robert Jordan’s death in a mysterious accident in 2001, there was a period of panic, when the millions of WoT addicts around the world were terrified that the series would never be completed. Of course, some people already thought that it would never end even before his death.

Soon after his death, many addicts claimed to have prophetic dreams, saying that the Jordan would be Reborn.

The prophecies, known as the Prophesies of the Jordan, claimed that he would be reborn on the slopes of Everest, where he died. Other signs would include that the Empire State Building would fall, he would take the legendary pen – Parkallandor, he would be seen in the Sky (newspaper) in London and he would break the records (for longest series ever (even longer than the encyclopaedias)) a second time.

One prophecy in particular says;

‘Twice and twice shall he be marked.
Once the pen rash to set his path,
Twice the pen rash to name him true.
Once the worn out keyboard for remembrance lost,
Twice the worn out keyboard for the price he must pay.

All of the prophecies have been fulfilled. He developed an ailment called ‘pen rash’ in his right hand from writing too much, so he switched to his left hand and developed it there, too. So he tried typing and wore holes in all of the major keys, especially e, l, n and y.

Before the arrival of the Jordan Reborn, there had been many false Jordans, some of the earlier ones including David Eddings and the Tolkien Reborn, but the riots they caused finished them off quickly. Some of the more skilled writers, the ones who could Suspend, had to be gentled by the inhabitants of the Eiffel Tower, who can also Suspend, but they use a different half of the Write Power.

The true Jordan Reborn gathered a huge following and caused many wars in bookshops and libraries around the world. Some claim that there is nobody alive who has not been caught up in the ta’veren pull of this mighty man.

His following increased when it was discovered that he could write five ‘The Shadow Rising’ length books each year. Now that the series is finished, with a total of fifty books in the series, WoT addicts are saying that they feel lost and aimless, many claiming that they can’t survive without their doses of WoT.

One group of addicts, who call themselves the ‘WoT Resurrectors’, claim that the Wheel shall keep on turning and the series shall be revived, maybe not in this Age or the next, but the Pattern cannot possibly pass over such a huge series without pausing to give praise.

I hope they’re right.

~Talissa Sedai