Here's my contribution:

Semirhage and Aram will discover each other and start dating due to their common interest in violence and killing and/or torturing people. Thom will go to the Tower of Ghenjei to rescue Moiraine, only to find that she and the *finns are having a huge dancing/yodeling/Macarena party without him. All the female characters and possibly Rand will suddenly decide that they are in love with Lan, and he goes into hiding thinking that it was much easier when he was "wedded to death". Meanwhile, Nynaeve beats off all of Lan's admirers with a big stick except for Rand. She boxes his ears good and ties him up and stuffs him somewhere where he can stop being a woolhead. Egwene finally realizes that her headaches are being massaged by a transexual resurrected Forsaken and to cope, she goes into a room with a strange ter'angreal (note: see Christmas Stag Party). Elaida decides that she is madly in love with Elyas Machera and sets out to find him, leaving Alviarin in charge, who is wearing her Mesaana mask and telling everyone that she will "teach them all". Mesaana finds out about Alviarin posing as Mesaana and goes into a state of histeria. She goes to the White Tower and forces Alviarin to actually listen to her lessons. Myrelle, who is actually a gholam in disguise, bonds 10 more Warders and marries them all.

And NynaeveSedai's continuation:

The Daughter of the Nine Moons will rescue Mat from under the building, then he will help Thom save Moiraine from having the time of her life in *finnland...somehow...So meanwhile Lan takes his first-ever sip of beer, and keeps going, realizing that it helps him cope with the loss of Moiraine, and he goes downhill from there(rock solid abs :) >:(:):l :b :k :# :o :( to beer belly)

So anyways, then Nynaeve kind of becomes his "beer wench" (he can be violent when he's drunk) and she becomes a vandal carving 'El Nana' into any Portal Stone she finds, causing chaos when people channel into them. Rand finally sleeps with Elayne, and finds her such a dissapointment that he gives up women forever and he and Loial write an epic saga now known as: The Bible, which Mat wanted them to call 'A Very Fat Book' Mat and TDotNM now run a very successful pimp service called "Big Pimpin" and who could forget Perrin and Faile: one night, as they are making love, he discovers....something....and realizes that she is the Dark One, but he blows it off, because he was the Creator all along...so Faile then runs off with a waitress named Gerty, and Perrin becomes a drunk with Lan. The world is just perfect now. :)