Bela - She's All I Ever Had


There’s something wrong...something terribly, terribly wrong here, folks. This isn’t Wheel Wars! I’m sorry...It’s another parody of that pitiful singing, dancing menace-to-society, Ricky Martin. The original song is called "She’s All I Ever Had". Ironically, the Spanish version is called "Bella". Sooooo here’s my version’ o’ the way the song really SHOULD go. Even if you don’t know the tune, it’s not a bad poem. It’s short, but it’s tolerable. (It’s hard to turn such a shallow song as this into a good, working parody, but here’s my humble attempt.)

Bela (She’s All I Ever Had)

There she is
Saddled up
Freshly shoed
It’s Heaven’s horse
There she is
She’s galloping
God’s gift to jockeys
And my best friend.

This horse, she’s one divine cart horse.
She’s so heavenly.
Bela, that’s one majestic horse.

It’s the way she tends to trot
It’s the way she helps a lot
It’s how she’s always there for me
And her clear theophany
The Creator’s avatar
Is the one who pulls my car
She’s the only horse I need
She’s my otherworldly steed.

So much spunk
So much zest (and)
This able horse
Beats all the rest
The way she sped
When we all fled
And through it all
She’s always been there.

She’s pulls, she pulls my big ol’ cart
Down the road that leads to town
She’s all, she’s all that owns my heart
It’s the way she tends to lope
It’s the way she helps elope
It’s the way she transports me
In pious divinity
My celestial chauffeur
Is a cart-horse, as it were
She’s the only horse I need
She’s my otherworldly steed.